i lost all.

hmm..
another post.
today was rather ...
how shld i say?.. hmm..
monotonous day?
nth happened muchs..
just the usual..

hmm..
woke up.
slacked in the hse.
went out to eat.
back home..
slacked again..
then played the electric guitar.. without amp..
mofo..
no amp.. sucks y'all know?..
wadeva..
then i kinda dosed off in the room..
damn tired..
tired from all the shits in this life.
so yea.
took a nap..
being awhile since i had a aftnoon nap..
it was not bad..

hmm..
then i went to over to grannie's house.
ate curry chicken there.
shiok as always.
i love homecook food. <3
then slacked.
watched scary movie 4 on channel 5.
then went home with bro.
now here bloggin at 1.33am..
i really no mood to sleep.
but i still have to..
shall go bathe aft bloggin and read a jughead digest.
and head to bed. i mean.. mattress...

hmm..
ooohh..
thought of this while readin jughead digest.
it seems so fake in this comics..
they have this grp of friends.
whos always there for each other.
its not like in the real world..
in this world.
it just does not seems real.
okay.
mayb its just me..
but wadeva the case.
i dunno..
i seems to be losin everyone.
no one is there.
no one.
i'm friendless it seems..
i'm thinkin alot.
friendless and loveless..
i feel miserable .
but..
who cares a heck?!
no one to be honest..
even if someone comes sayin.
"hey! i do care you know?"
but in your mind.
you be thinkin..
"wadeva?!"

haiz..
i dunno wads wrong with me anymore.
i once told this someone.
i forgt who.
that i always look in the mirror.
and i tell myself.
i love you man!
but now.
i look at the mirror. and i ask. wtf happened to you?!..
my bro has being showin concern to me..
tellin me indirectly.
dun so emo and stuffs.
i feel it bro. thks.
but it aint gonna do anything..
you have your good life now.
thats why you can tell me to dun all this..
but i dun ..
i'm not havin a good time in life now..
i'm not like you.
your lucky.
you have people by your side.
but for me?
it seems like i dun.

well..
i have lotsa stuffs to put down here.
i'm really fucked up and feelin real down..
i dunno wad to do anymore..
its not just abt friends.
its abt a girl too.
i can say..
i like her alot.
i dunno abt her.
she dun seems to be..
i have being tellin myself to give up on her.
and my head has being sayin.
i'm givin up on her.
and i've given up.
however..
this is all but a lie from my mind.
my mind lies.
but my heart dun.
its tellin the truth.
i cant seem to give you up girl.
i cant put away all the feelins i have for you.
its really deep.
i cant stop thinkin abt you all the while..
wherever i go, wadeva i'm doin.
i keep thinkin of you.
________ .

i stared at my phone. the whole day.
and not even a single text from you.
i have thought of textin you.
but..
i dun wanna disturb you.
i dun wanna be a bother to you.
sometimes.
i even have thoughts that you dun even wanna talk to me.
you told me NO!
but i dunno..
i dunno if this is really the truth?
or are you just tryin to make me feel better?
i'm thinkin..
ooohh well..
i guess its just me..
but just rmb girl.
you tell me to let everything out of my mind.
and i'm gonna let everything out.
soon girl.
you'll see.
i'm not lettin go..
________ .

alrights.
dave's talkin to me on msn.
givin me entertainment.
and sorta gettin myself away from probs.
=D

~~eugeneN~~