simple hello.

heyhey.
i'm back to this blog.
aft a day of studyin.
and usin the comp.
no guitar ehhs..
surprisin?
cause no string..
=(

hmm...
so yea.
i overslept today..
shit.
woke up and started scoldin myself..
ahaha!
then nvm loh..
used the comp awhile.
took out bio.
did some bio..
as my prelim result for bio is shit..
ahhh needa buck up for bio.
hmm..
then i did phys too.
phys prelim result was not bad.
but i wanna be better.
=D

hmm..
then yea..
i fell asleep on the table..
damn retarded..
then woke up.
did work.
use comp again..
ahhaa!
i like no life only..
hmm..
then dinner.
yea.
i'm gonna sleep soon.
so yea.
needa be able to wake up in time.
i dun wanna be at home.
but i just realised smth..

wad sista said is true.
she said she thinks alot in sch than at home.
i realised that too..
less "emo" at home.
go sch get all mix emotions in my mind.
then reach home get pekcek..
aiya...
dunno how.
but i still dun like to stay at home..
so i'll still be goin sch.

hmm..
just when i goin out for dinner.
phone vibrate.
got a sms ...
i surprise.
in my mind hopin its her.
then..
yea it is.
brought a smile to my face.
=D
then aft just 5 text..
byebye.
but ooohh wells..
although its not much.
still..
shows that she cares?
i dunno.
i hopes so..
i still have you in my heart.

alrights.
i gotta go off le.
wanna sleep..

so near yet so far.

~~eugeneN~~

i'm tired.

hmm..
okok.
so aft a long long day in sch.
from mornin till night.
in sch..
i'm back home.
facin the comp.
relaxin..
i very very tired i swear..

sooo..
today sch was pretty much the same.
all the lessons and all..
but was borin.
i slept during geo ..
mrs stevens didnt come.
so yea.
sleep loh..
no one to talk to also..
so loner nowaday..
sian lah..
nvm..

hmm..
then yea..
all the lessons.
aft ec.
slacked at canteen.
ate alot.
=D
hmm..
then talked abt stuffs.
then yea.
went up eventually to study area for night studies.
did nth.
i no mood.
damn tired.
hmm..
then went home loh..
so here i am now.

hmm..
anyways.
tmrw will be sch again!
woo!
ahaha
i love goin to sch.
except for some part.
ahaha
but overall..
its better than home.
i dun wanna stay at home..
so sian one..
eeee dun like!!!
sch =D
ahaa.

wah sian lah..
i feel so friendless leh..
my phone today..
not even a single text from anyone loh..
sian..
i think i damn loner..
haiz..
wad can i do?
no one text me.
no one bother lah..
haiz..
so fustrated..
thats why i keep sayin dig this hole
stay inside.
sian lah..

hmm..
anyways..
at least joanna text me.
but its abt the ss textbook..
but nvm..
at least got someone talk to le.
phone damn quiet loh..
so i'm just happy got someone bothered to text me.
=D

i just hope tmrw will be a better day.
i gotta cheer myself up.
no one can.
only myself..
i'll be fine.
even if it meant i'll be left alone.
urgh.
nvm..

hmm..
thats all i guess.
i'm prepared to give up.

~~eugeneN~~

one last post. for the night.

ooohh..
one last post for today.
new url.
need personal space.
i dun wanna lock.
lazy type the emails and all..
so yea.
only few ppl knows my new link.
you readin this?

you're one of them.
=D
it shows i trust you.
dun misplace it.
=D

peaceout.

~~eugeneN~~

wad am i doin?..

hellos..
today went to sch.
first day of sch.
surprisin no hair check!
not bad ehhs. =D

hmm..
then took some of the prelims paper back.
my purehist not bad! A2 =D
then eng sucks..
bio paper 1 sucks too..
yea..
chem was ok =D
hmm.. yea tmrw more papers.
so yeap..
then aft sch went for a talk..
some scholarship..
stupid..
IT course.
no interest at all.. boring shit..
hmm..
then went hall for some oral..
wtf .. lyk Olevel oral over le..
they still want us do this..
dun get it loh.. stupid.
but wadeva..
then done le slacked at study area.
sit there alone.
starin at blank space.
till clemence came.
talk to him.
then i continue starin at blank space.
i cant keep my eyes and mind off you.

hmm..
then yea.
talk talk talk.
then i headed home.
while ellis roy hongteck went lot1.

hmm..
ooohh didnt i blog abt sunday?
went kahmun hse tution her again.
phys.
didnt do muchs..
played ds instead.
i slept awhile
damn nice!
=D
hmm..
then watched the tv.
slacked awhile..
go to grannie's house.
ate dinner there.
chiong home.

hmm..
okok.
so no more le?
alrights.
tmrw got sch..
ec till 5plus again.
night studies for me.
dun wanna go home.
yea.
hmm..
then yea.
confirm thinkin alot tmrw again..
wadeva uhh..

ooohh..
recently..
have this thinkin.
i shall dig a hole
and just stay inside.
dun want come out..
this world is so hurtin.
found out alot of things..
all this sucks.
really really shit.
haiz..
life's not really goin well..
but ooohh well.
it still has to go on..
no choice.
i'm goin on.
pushin myself.
aft Olevel.
i needa break.
break from the books.
and from all the shits in life now.
haiz..

hmm..
guess wad i'm thinkin now?
her.
wadeva..

~~eugeneN~~

i lost all.

hmm..
another post.
today was rather ...
how shld i say?.. hmm..
monotonous day?
nth happened muchs..
just the usual..

hmm..
woke up.
slacked in the hse.
went out to eat.
back home..
slacked again..
then played the electric guitar.. without amp..
mofo..
no amp.. sucks y'all know?..
wadeva..
then i kinda dosed off in the room..
damn tired..
tired from all the shits in this life.
so yea.
took a nap..
being awhile since i had a aftnoon nap..
it was not bad..

hmm..
then i went to over to grannie's house.
ate curry chicken there.
shiok as always.
i love homecook food. <3
then slacked.
watched scary movie 4 on channel 5.
then went home with bro.
now here bloggin at 1.33am..
i really no mood to sleep.
but i still have to..
shall go bathe aft bloggin and read a jughead digest.
and head to bed. i mean.. mattress...

hmm..
ooohh..
thought of this while readin jughead digest.
it seems so fake in this comics..
they have this grp of friends.
whos always there for each other.
its not like in the real world..
in this world.
it just does not seems real.
okay.
mayb its just me..
but wadeva the case.
i dunno..
i seems to be losin everyone.
no one is there.
no one.
i'm friendless it seems..
i'm thinkin alot.
friendless and loveless..
i feel miserable .
but..
who cares a heck?!
no one to be honest..
even if someone comes sayin.
"hey! i do care you know?"
but in your mind.
you be thinkin..
"wadeva?!"

haiz..
i dunno wads wrong with me anymore.
i once told this someone.
i forgt who.
that i always look in the mirror.
and i tell myself.
i love you man!
but now.
i look at the mirror. and i ask. wtf happened to you?!..
my bro has being showin concern to me..
tellin me indirectly.
dun so emo and stuffs.
i feel it bro. thks.
but it aint gonna do anything..
you have your good life now.
thats why you can tell me to dun all this..
but i dun ..
i'm not havin a good time in life now..
i'm not like you.
your lucky.
you have people by your side.
but for me?
it seems like i dun.

well..
i have lotsa stuffs to put down here.
i'm really fucked up and feelin real down..
i dunno wad to do anymore..
its not just abt friends.
its abt a girl too.
i can say..
i like her alot.
i dunno abt her.
she dun seems to be..
i have being tellin myself to give up on her.
and my head has being sayin.
i'm givin up on her.
and i've given up.
however..
this is all but a lie from my mind.
my mind lies.
but my heart dun.
its tellin the truth.
i cant seem to give you up girl.
i cant put away all the feelins i have for you.
its really deep.
i cant stop thinkin abt you all the while..
wherever i go, wadeva i'm doin.
i keep thinkin of you.
________ .

i stared at my phone. the whole day.
and not even a single text from you.
i have thought of textin you.
but..
i dun wanna disturb you.
i dun wanna be a bother to you.
sometimes.
i even have thoughts that you dun even wanna talk to me.
you told me NO!
but i dunno..
i dunno if this is really the truth?
or are you just tryin to make me feel better?
i'm thinkin..
ooohh well..
i guess its just me..
but just rmb girl.
you tell me to let everything out of my mind.
and i'm gonna let everything out.
soon girl.
you'll see.
i'm not lettin go..
________ .

alrights.
dave's talkin to me on msn.
givin me entertainment.
and sorta gettin myself away from probs.
=D

~~eugeneN~~

you suck big time!

argh.
mum being an ass again!!
so sian you know!!
come back then show black face!
nag nag nag!!
ROARS!!
just shutup!
>=(

hmm.
today stayed at home.
no mood suddenly go out..
so i didnt go kahmun hse..
sry bunny.
i couldnt go and help you with your work..
sun.
i may go.
or i will.
make it up to you.
and help you.
><

hmm..
sooo..
i did nth today uhh..
keep starin at the comp screen..
playin my one string gone guitar..
walao!
sian..

hmm..
then now bro wanna use comp.
wah i very pekcek now.
ggrrrr...


BYE!

~~eugeneN~~

lalala.

i dunno wad to say..
hmmm..
hellos again?
hmm..
i guess so.
ahaha

hmm..
today was lidat loh.
very tired.
went to sch in the mornin..
for phys..
damn borin i tell you.
and pekcek!
mum didnt pay bill!
then i cant send sms and call out!
walao!
then i damn pissed!
then the whole day no mood i tell you..
ahaha

hmm..
but tonight is not a bad night.
aaah
quite nice.
hmm..

ok.
so yea.
aft phys is maths..
crazy.
few hrs..
nonstop maths..
walao..
damn tired and sleepy loh..
do do do..
no mood!!!

then yeap.
finally over!
yay!
ahaha
then i dun want go home!
but nobody to go out with..
pfft.
then i went home loh..
retarded..
took bus.
missed stop.
alight at clarke quay.
take train home..

now at home.
no guitar to play..
string snap.
no money.
this sucks!
i wanna get a new guitar..
i have to..
hell..
hmm..
alrights..

tmrw..
i dunno goin where.
kahmun hse?
or somewhere else?
hmm..
dunno.
tmrw then see..

hmm..
cleared some things already..
i really dunno wad i shld do now..
i'm confused.

~~eugeneN~~